Nice a holiday down under. Everybody is exited. Yes! Go for it! The only trouble is how do you get the money? After a lot of saving and some back up from some family. (especially my mom and dad) Arranged. I will get out this adventure with some debts, but I can live with it. They are long term and will be paid of eventually. And especially when you didn’t want to, you find yourself a last minute boyfriend. Which seems a lot of trouble. I can tell you it is. I miss him very much and it hurts everyday. There isn’t a day I check how many days to go till he is here. But on the other hand he is been a great support. Just like a lot of other people at home. But I have my money and sit down under. Your bottom on a white beach, bleu sea. Nothing to complain about? Well I can tell you reality is hard. The missing is hard on moments when you have nothing to do. You would give a lot for just a little hug from one of your best friends or someone of your family. Yes, I do have family over here as well. But it is different. They have a complete different view on you. And distances are long. And especially when Mel and jeroen are out of the house it is silent. And when people at home going to hard times and you can't be there. I thought a job would solve. Which it did. Don’t think I just said I would quit. I am not a quitter. It took a long time to admit to myself that it wasn’t a job I could handle. And it leaves me with almost no opportunity for work in the next month. Because who wants to employ a girl of 18 with almost no job experience and a month left to work? Yes I could lie about experience but I am a very honest person. I can’t and would fail in an instant. So I am just sending out my resume again and hope to see some response. But I already gave up hope. What to do in Sydney without spending to much money? No idea, today I just pulled open my creativity jar. Just started with writing, drawing and designing I will start running again. But from my condition is nothing left, so I have to start from nothing which isn’t a nice idea. As you see I feel pretty lonely an lost at the moment. I would love to go home and just hug and be loved at home. But this is part of a learning proces… But I can tell you it’s hard. And it doesn’t feel good. It feels cruel….
nicky | 23 Nov 2004 (Tue), 06:38 @ Var | TBmy big girl is learning!!! yes i miss you as well
But i know my girl. She will make it, and she will come back next year with stories and adventures that i didnt do, but only dreamded off Yes missing the one you love is hard but knowing that they will be wating for you when you come back is a point to hang on too .
The only hug i can give you will be this one but when you come home next year i will hug you till you will be breathless . mammie huuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
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